T minus 4 weeks

I much prefer the french "au revoir" to goodbye. There's so much finality to goodbye, it makes you feel like you're never going to see people again, while au revoir is like until I see you again. A much happier connotation. For me anyway.

I spent the weekend in Edinburgh seeing some friends from uni. We've not all met up since leaving uni in summer 2004, a long long time ago, or so it seems. One is some high flier in the city, one works for a world rally team and gets to travel the world with them and the other is a helicopter engineer fixing aircraft. It's strange how we all have gone different ways, from exactly the same course. But then, it's what we all wanted to do I suppose. Anyway, after spending a weekend getting to know what everyone is doing again and remembering everyone's little foibles - talking in their sleep, producing the worst wind in the world for such a wee man - you have to say goodbye again.

And I hate it. I think I've always hated saying goodbye. It means letting go, and partially knowing that you might not see each other again ever, or for a long time. But then, in this world, there is never enough time to spend it with everyone you want to, you have to be selective I suppose. And I've decided to spend it with my friends in Nepal. That's my choice, but sometimes I wonder whether it has been the right decision. What happens when I come back? Am I going to be able just to slot back into work again? Will I really want to spend 8 hours a day in an office staring at a computer after a year of being outside meeting people? I suppose it's just a bit of pre-trip nerves. This isn't the usual month long holiday that I take, it will actually change my life, but am I ready for it? Do I want my life to change?

And please, does anyone want to buy a most excellent little green VW golf?

SAM