T minus 2 weeks

Last week was my final week in Bristol before I go. That meant finishing everything off at work, packing everything at my house, and saying "see you drekly" to all my friends.

And I did it. Well almost. I only got 2 of the 5 reports signed off at work. I moved down from Bristol to Cornwall on Thursday night - keeping awake on the motorway was interesting after waking up at 5 am. Somehow all my stuff fitted into Dad's van. It is amazing how much junk you collect after only 3 years. I pity the people who will have to tidy my house when I get prematurely put into a nursing home. And then I said "au revoir" to all my friends. Well, I hope all of them, if I missed you out then I'm sorry. Nothing personal, just being forgetful as normal.

So now I'm back at home. I've resolved to do 2 things over the next 2 weeks.

1. Get running again. I cycled into work a couple of times last week and felt so exhausted when I got there. The fitness is just ebbing away.
2. Make sure I eat lots of food to counteract any illness I will most certainly have within the first few weeks of arriving in Nepal.

Tomorrow morning I will go for my run. No idea how far it will be, but as long as I'm out that'll be the main thing. And being at home is great for eating more food. There's always food in the cupboard, no need to go shopping for it, and as it's easter there's quite a bit of chocolate about. Winning all around.

As for the other preparations for Nepal, am I ready? Well, not really. I don't think the realisation has hit me yet that I'm going in a fortnight's time. Once the weekend is over and I'm not at work, maybe it will sink in that something's actually happening. Or maybe that's just a vain hope, and I'll be panicking greatly in 13 days from now. I'm slowly laying out the clothes and bits and bobs I'll need. Working out how much room I've got, and more importantly what my weight allowance is. I do have a big pile of junk from my room in Bristol which I need to sort through and decide what's coming with me and what's not. I know I can buy things in Nepal, but if I already have them here, then I'd prefer not to really. It would just be a bit greedy having twice as much stuff as I need, even if it is a continent apart.

Scared. Excited. And not quite believing what's just around the corner. T minus 2 weeks and counting.

SAM

p.s. And yes, little green golf still is for sale if anyone wants it...

T minus 3 weeks

I'm slowly coming to the realisation that I'm actually going in three weeks. It may sound slightly stupid and naive, but I don't think it has actually hit me before. And what does going actually mean for me?

Well, I won't be working for a whole year. One whole year not having to wake up and go to my office. One whole year without having to count how many hours I do to each project and then by the time Friday comes have forgotten and make it up in my timesheet. One whole year with no income at all.

It will be a whole year seeing my family and friends. A whole year without being able to make a phone call when I'm happy, sad, bored, need something and having someone who pretends they care on the end of the phone.

A whole year of eating lentil soup, rice and curried vegetables (daal, bhaat, tarkaari) twice a day with my hands, which will gradually turn green. No stopping at the pizza shop or chippy on the way home if I can't be bothered to cook. Still having to eat curry when my stomach is playing up and things are pouring out both ends. And no beef for a whole year - you get life imprisonment for killing a cow in Nepal, but only 12 years for killing a human being.

It'll be a year of not quite understanding everything that's said to me, and knowing that most of what I say won't be understood. A year of being stared at because I'm different. A year of power cuts or no electricity at all. A year of long and dangerous bus rides. A year of Hindi songs and Bollywood movies. A year of BBC World Service. A year of being moly-coddled. A year of frustration.

However, I'm going to be living with an amazing people for a year, who invite you into their home on a whim just because you're passing and force a cup of sweet tea into you. I'll be there during a period of change for country, post-election Nepal is going to be a interesting time. I'll be working with people that have very little, but are still satisfied with everything they have, and in a way have far more than I could ever have. I'll be living in a country that has some of the most stunning and varied scenery in the world, from jagged mountains to malarial jungles to fertile plains. I'll have the opportunity to learn about the world, about what is actually important in life and how I can cope with it all.

I'm still scared. But I'm becoming excited as well.

SAM

p.s. Does anyone want a most amazing little green golf? Jilly is feeling unloved now...

T minus 4 weeks

I much prefer the french "au revoir" to goodbye. There's so much finality to goodbye, it makes you feel like you're never going to see people again, while au revoir is like until I see you again. A much happier connotation. For me anyway.

I spent the weekend in Edinburgh seeing some friends from uni. We've not all met up since leaving uni in summer 2004, a long long time ago, or so it seems. One is some high flier in the city, one works for a world rally team and gets to travel the world with them and the other is a helicopter engineer fixing aircraft. It's strange how we all have gone different ways, from exactly the same course. But then, it's what we all wanted to do I suppose. Anyway, after spending a weekend getting to know what everyone is doing again and remembering everyone's little foibles - talking in their sleep, producing the worst wind in the world for such a wee man - you have to say goodbye again.

And I hate it. I think I've always hated saying goodbye. It means letting go, and partially knowing that you might not see each other again ever, or for a long time. But then, in this world, there is never enough time to spend it with everyone you want to, you have to be selective I suppose. And I've decided to spend it with my friends in Nepal. That's my choice, but sometimes I wonder whether it has been the right decision. What happens when I come back? Am I going to be able just to slot back into work again? Will I really want to spend 8 hours a day in an office staring at a computer after a year of being outside meeting people? I suppose it's just a bit of pre-trip nerves. This isn't the usual month long holiday that I take, it will actually change my life, but am I ready for it? Do I want my life to change?

And please, does anyone want to buy a most excellent little green VW golf?

SAM 

T minus 5 weeks

I'm now in hypochondriac mode. I'm really worried that something's going to happen and it will mean I can't go. This week I suffered my first bought of man 'flu of the year, combined with a upset stomach. Obviously this meant I was going to die and therefore not able to go to Nepal.

And really, it's not a completely unfounded psychosis. You hear of all of these people who plan the most wonderful retirements, and then drop dead the day after finishing work. So, you see, I do base my neuroses on something, even if it's not entirely logical.

I'm also being very careful on my bike. I don't want to get knocked off that again...

So this week has been quite a quiet week in terms of planning and getting ready. I managed to finally get my English homework done, only to find that there was more in the pipeline. Man, I'm so glad I'm not at school or uni again, I would be completely slack and fail.

Anyway, still looking to sell the Golf, and really don't want to have next year's insurance on it, so I have just over a week. And I'm off to Edinburgh next weekend with some old friends from uni, which should be quite cool. So a bit of a busy week ahead. Oh yes, and then there's work...

SAM